Why It's Okay to Not Have It All Together (and a family update)

First off all, let me start off by saying how much I have missed writing to you all. I think it's important to take breaks when you can feel you need them but I am back and I hope to bring you content regularly!

I haven't written a blog post since November 2019 so let me tell you what has happened since then. I'm sure you all know that life now looks very different for us all but as far as a family update...

Eric and I both turned 29, my daughter completed her Kindergarten school year, all my kids had birthdays (they turned 6, 4, 4) and we've just been trying to navigate life with COVID-19 and doing the best we can.

I felt strongly about writing on this topic for my first post back because I feel it's something everyone needs to hear and be reminded of, myself included! Especially during these trying times, I think knowing it's OK to not have everything all together is crucial!

So, this is a post for the woman who needs the reminder that she doesn’t have to have it all together. You can do anything, but you can’t do EVERYTHING.. at least not all at once.

1. It's OK to take time for yourself.

This is not selfish. IT IS ESSENTIAL. This one is most important to me. I think people (especially mothers) often skip this step and to me cant take a huge toll on my mental heath. Self-care and taking time for yourself can look like many different things. It can range anywhere from allowing yourself to be "unproductive" for a certain amount of time, a relaxing bath, catching up on your favorite show, to working out, etc.

2. It's OK to ask for help.

There is no shame in asking for help even if that just means a shoulder to lean on. I think sometimes as moms and women we feel that asking others for help will be a burden to others. I think that is totally false. I think most people are happy to help in the ways that they can.

3. It's OK to set boundaries.

I actually think setting boundaries is a must. Most of the time feeling like you have to have it all together goes hand in hand with being a people pleaser. Wanting to please and help people can be a wonderful thing but not at the expense of running yourself into the ground. Boundaries can look as simple as turning your phone off at a certain time or making sure you have designated days where you don't focus on anything except yourself and your family. It's being able to say "No" and not feeling guilty.

4. It's OK to move at your own pace.

What do I mean by this? I feel this reminder kind of bleeds into comparison and we all know comparison is the thief of joy. I think knowing it's OK to move at the pace you're capable of is so important. If you see another mom who happened to do her hair, makeup, run errands, clean the house, whip up a meal from scratch, and you're still in the "changing out of my pjs" phase of the day...THAT'S OK! Everyone moves at their own pace and has the capacity to tackle different things. This also changes day to day. You may have accomplished 100 things off your to-do list one day and the next you've been in PJs all day. That's OK too!

5. It's OK to have fun.

We sometimes forget as adults (parents) that it's OK to have fun! It's OK to take a look at your life and schedule and loosen up in areas from time to time. Often times my favorite days with my family is when we've abandoned our "to-do" list and had unplanned fun. Although, planned fun is also nice. :)

I hope you found these suggestions a little bit helpful and know that I am also talking to and applying these to myself.

My next post will be fashion related to stay tuned! I'm debating between my thrifting tips or how to put together a capsule wardrobe. Thank you for reading :)

- Maelese